Charlie

A few days ago I did it. I flushed the little bastard down the washing machine drain. Apparently, I didn't do a good enough job the first time. Tonight, there he was again, Charlie Junior, sitting mockingly on the shower room floor, in all his Huntsman glory. I sneakily grabbed the shower hose and turned it on with my foot, spraying a powerful blast of good ol' H2O on Jr. As before, he struggled to get away, trying to run his little wet body up the wall, but to no avail. He did manage to make his way behind the mashing machine, but I sprayed over it, under it, next to it, until his lifeless body flowed out and down the drain. I turned the washer faucet on to make sure he didn't somehow grasp the pipe. I hope he's gone for good now.

I've been dealing with Huntsman spiders my entire time in Japan. Imagine a skinny tarantula the size of your open hand, fingers spread. My second week or so here, there was one in my tiny closet of a toilet room, which people from my BOE had to come and kill for me. I had no idea about them, no one had warned me. I left that little bitch in the toilet room for about 24 hours. The next day, they froze him to death and he shriveled up into nothing.

I don't know why I didn't get that freezing spray. I suppose I've been trying to live and let live. a few months ago, there was a Huntsman in my kitchen, about the size of a child's hand. I spoke to him for about an hour. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but I named him Charlie and told him the ground rules for the "Live and Let Live" game:

1. No going into the toilet room or shower room, try to stay out of the bedroom.
2. If he discovers that we are, in fact, in the same room, he is not to move AT ALL.
3. No attempting to sneak by me in any of the rooms or staircase.
4. If any of the rules are broken, I have the right to kill him any way I see fit.

Now, for months I had not seen my little friend, Charlie. He heard the rules and followed them well. A little over a week ago, though, I was walking up the stairs when I heard a small thud and looked to see what had fallen. It was a giant Huntsman. I immediately flinched back down the stairs, which he decided to climb up a little, then stop. Fair enough, he wasn't moving. I was about to get a shower, so I figured by the time I got out, he'd be gone. Nope - I searched for his little skinny, hairy, brown body and found it on the side of a step. I thought if I went quickly, he'd stay there. Nope - he bolted up the stairs, onto the wall, and into the bedroom. The last time I saw one in the room, it was on the wall by my bed and walked across, falling on top of a pile of clothes, so I have since kept my bed about 30cm away from the wall so there was less of a chance that one would be on my bed. I saw the little shit crawling in that gap and was so glad I had moved the bed. He disappeared and I decided to go to sleep anyway. My calmness came from the thought that these guys are around, whether I see the or not all the time, so why should I worry about it. Also, they're harmless unless provoked, eat cockroaches, and their venom would only make me slightly uncomfortable if anything even happened.

So back to about an hour ago. . .

I flushed Junior down the drain and felt better about things. I had just gotten my body wet in the shower, when I look up on the wall right in front of my face and see a HUGE Huntsman. I must have squealed like a piglet. My thoughts were flying all over the place; "When did that one get here? Is this possibly the parent of the baby one I just flushed, looking for revenge? Has my friend CHARLIE grown up!?" The squeal must have sent vibrations through the shower room, because he left off the wall and landed near my feet. I jumped up on the edge of the bathtub and grabbed the shower hose, spraying violently all over the damn place. THEY MOVE SO FAST!!! He ran behind the washer and I kept spraying, but this guy was much stronger than the little one I drowned earlier, so he hung on. I kept my eye on the giant spindly legs around the corner of the washer during my entire shower.

I spoke to him. I let him know that he was NOT to move during my shower or I'd kill him. He spitefully kept twitching his legs around (probably trying to dry off), but I kept my distance. I told him to stay there until he heard me go upstairs. I edged out of the room, dried myself off and turned off the light. I told him that if he was indeed my friend Charlie, that the game was on and he'd earned his one-way ticket to hell if I saw him again.