Bursting Bubbles

Several times during the conversations I've had here, I have experienced the dreaded "EEEEEEEEH!?" and the face of shock from many Japanese peoples' burst bubbles regarding cultural similarities and differences. Many of these situations took place in my eikaiwa (conversational English) class with older Japanese adults, but it happens almost every week in some form. Here are just a few examples. . .


PERSONAL APPEARANCE:

I'm tan. I'm not that way because I bake in the sun every day, I was born that way. In the spring, summer, and autumn, I tan very easily, making it even more apparent that I am darker than what is appreciated in Japanese society, where women hide from the sun year-round. I refuse to cover up my skin with ridiculous layers of fabric in the tropical heat or use whitening products on my skin to adhere to the Japanese view of "beauty".

I was told that there is a saying in Japan that goes something like: "White skin hides 7 flaws". . . this means that if a woman has very white skin, it doesn't matter how ugly, rude, stupid, deformed, snotty, etc. that she is, because she is still regarded as beautiful. I beg to differ. . .

When I told my eikaiwa students that the opposite is true in many countries around the world, they were in shock. I've written about this before, but these ladies have tried to make excuses for staying pale by saying they are trying to prevent cancer or something. Hmm. . . One woman in particular, the eldest in my class, tried to explain why it's important to stay lighter-skinned and then followed this by telling me she was referred to as 'the black one' when she was in school. I wasn't entirely sure what to make of this. . .


RELIGION:

Religion has come up several times in conversation here, but always pretty casually. Before I came to Japan, I was taught that there were only a few "religions" in Japan, mainly Shinto and Buddhism. These are actually not even religions, but more a way of thinking and acting. Here, at this day and age, people don't really ask about religious background because people don't generally care about it. If one is a Christian or follows Shinto traditions, they typically do so without a big show (all except maybe the Jehovah's Witnesses. . . . I still haven't been able to shake them off of me!) When I explained that, in America and many other western countries, religion is a taboo topic of discussion, they didn't understand why. It does seem like a pretty stupid thing to be offended about, but that's just a fact of the western world.

I have met a few Japanese people who claim to be Christians. One lady is very deeply involved in church and loves the bible, Jesus, God, singing hymns, etc. She might be a bit crazy, but I guess that's just what keeps her going. In one eikaiwa class, I had a discussion about religion and religious tolerance and wandered into the different systems of belief existing in the world. This woman claimed "I love everyone, but I don't like Mormons." She was disgusted by them, in fact. Just playing along and trying to prove my point, I told her that I was offended by that statement, being a Mormon myself. The look of dismay and terror that appeared on her face was priceless. My point was that if that conversation had been in a public place in the western world and someone overheard her say such a thing, there would have been some kind of confrontation. Sad but true.


FAMILY:

My parents are divorced. Both my mother and father have found new people spend their lives with. This is a concept very few children understand here, since many Japanese marriages are loveless anyway (of course not all, but many). I also have stepsisters, who I included in my family list. My mother is English and my father is American, she is brown and he is white. Her parents are from India, another country altogether from the rest of the family. When I gave my self-introduction to all the children and people of Yasuda-town, there were a slew of confused faces during the explanation of my family. Understandable, but I wasn't expecting there to be so much ignorance regarding these concepts. . .

I've also got extremely large grandparents on my father's side (my grandmother is 5'2", but weighs over 300 pounds) and it absolutely floored a number of people to see pictures of them, especially students. Granted, I live in one of the most slender countries in the world, but I didn't realize so many people would be petrified to know these large people existed and were actually related to me. No, they aren't sumo wrestlers. . .


PERSONAL BACKGROUND:

I studied Industrial Design and I am not sure whether or not I would like to pursue that field in the future. I'm sure not everyone in Japan knows what they want from the start, studies it, and becomes it, but there are many people surprised at my indecision.

I'm also leaving this incredible opportunity to join my beau in the joblessness of America because I love him. This is also something very uncommon in Japan. I'm not sure I appreciate this world where a job is more important than someone you love. . ,

In Japan, people tend to find that one or two things they like and only focus on those things. They typically have one club which they belong to and they get awesome at that one club activity, going there or practicing it (whatever it is) almost daily. It's difficult for them to imagine that I have lived a life of dabbling in this or that, that I am a "jack-of-all-trades and a master at nothing." I think I'll probably remain that way for the rest of my life. . . who knows, though! It was definitely hard for me to choose what to focus on even just coming to Japan for a few years!

ON AMERICA:

The United States of America is HUGE and, no matter how many times I say it, Japanese people don't seem to understand this. I'm often asked questions like, "What do Americans think about X?" and "In America, do people X?" and these questions, of course, are impossible to answer! Not everyone in America (or most any country for that matter) thinks and believes in and acts the same! It sounds very close-minded to say this, but there are a lot of national similarities between people in Japan, so I understand why they might think the same is true worldwide. This is just something that frustrates me to explain. For example, "Is it hot in America like it is in Japan?" Well. . .

It is also, understandable, difficult for Japanese people, in this homogenous society, to really grasp the internationalization that goes on in other countries like the U.S.. No matter how much I explain myself or my friends or that there are millions of immigrants who move to other countries to start lives either with or without families. I tried, though!


ON JAPAN:

I can use chopsticks. I have since I was young and many people here find that hard to believe. Apparently, only in Asian countries would anyone have access to such things. . . Good thing we don't go around telling people how amazingly skilled they are at using forks! I think they probably wouldn't even get it if there were. . . sarcasm doesn't translate so well sometimes. . .

There are many foods here which I don't like and won't eat - shiso leaves, whale, horse, certain kinds of fish and seaweeds, etc.. For some reason, most Japanese people seem to think Japanese cuisine trumps that of all other countries. They even think they invented most things, like curry and gyoza (Chinese dumplings) and don't believe me when I tell them these are not Japanese foods. I have never asked anyone something as ludicrous as "what do you think of American food, isn't it delicious!?" and I think people really expect me to tell them how amazing everything is in Japan.

When I first arrived, I was talking about how strange it was to pay roughly the equivalent of $10 for a single peach or $20 for a bowling ball-sized watermelon. I explained that I had a watermelon the size of a small pig once, which I purchased for $2 in Philadelphia. "Yes, but, don't you think Japanese watermelon tastes much better?" I was strangely offended by this statement, but told them honestly that they taste pretty much exactly the same. Intensely shocked faces followed. . .

Japan has this wonderful kind of music called enka which is a kind of traditional folk-song style, a lot of whiny sounds and singing high-pitched notes. Though elderly Japanese folks like to think their traditions and things are carried on and appreciated my their future generations, it is clearly NOT. It surprises me, though, that some people here seem to think we know their enka songs regardless of our language abilities. Rarely, you find a foreigner who is obsessed enough with the culture to enjoy enka, but not often. When asked about my feelings for enka, I replied that it was "maa - maa" or OK/ not too bad. I think they were expecting me to be thrilled by this music. I would probably say the same for J-pop. . .


Perhaps I am unusual in that I don't fake my enjoyment or appreciation or tolerance for things. I like being an honest person that way, rather than making everyone feel good about things all the time. It isn't that I'm necessarily negative, just that I would rather let people know the truth of things. In a culture where saving face is more important than honesty, quite a few bubbles have been burst in the past two years. . .